The New Doc
by G.L. Peabody
Summary: I Dream of Jeannie MASH crossover, with a dash of ID4. In the fall of 1968, Colonel Frank Burns replaces Dr. Bellows as NASA Psychiatrist. Jeannie takes Tony and Roger back in time to the 4077th MASH. Meanwhile, Dr. Bellows gets a new job at area 51.
1. Dr Bellows Gets His Orders

Major Anthony Nelson, US Air Force and Major Roger Healey, Corps of Engineers, US Army were exhausted. They had completed 48 hours of very grueling training at the Kennedy Space Center. Both men were veteran military officers and experienced astronauts, but this training was especially challenging. It was meant to prepare them to eventually explore the moon, something both men wanted more than anything else. The competition, though, was fierce. Talented astronauts like Aldrin, Armstrong, and Collins were all in the lead for the first mission.

"I just feel like collapsing," said Healy, following Tony Nelson into his office.

"You said it pal… I could go for a long soak." Said Nelson, who should have known better than expressing anything that could be interpreted as a wish.

Before Nelson could finish his thought he found himself in a luxurious Roman bath with his best friend Roger. Young Roman bath attendants were tending to both men. The unusual thing, well ONE of the unusual things, about this bath was that it was housed in the office of Astronaut Anthony "Tony" Nelson.

"Hey, hey, I could get used to this!" Exclaimed Roger, surrounded by some of the more attractive female bath attendants.

Normally Tony would be screaming for Jeannie to get rid of all of this, but he was tired and it felt good. He also knew that she wouldn't be far away, so he better watch himself around the young women helping them at the bath. Tony must have been out of it, as he should have foreseen what was going to happen next.

"Major Nelson, what in the name of Caligula is going on here!" Shouted NASA Psychiatrist Dr. Bellows, while standing at the door to Tony's office

Colonel Alfred Bellows MD, USAF had seen a lot and heard a lot in his service to NASA. He is a board certified psychiatrist and Air Force Flight Surgeon. He also is a rated pilot who routinely goes up to keep his wings. But neither his military nor his professional expertise ever prepared him for the likes of Major Nelson. Not too long ago, Dr. Bellows was considered for a promotion to Brigadier General. Then Bellows started handing in these strange reports on his astronauts. It was his duty, however, to report. Even though he knew it could hurt his career, Dr. Bellows was on the run to the office of the Commanding General.

"General Peterson, you must come quickly!" Dr. Bellows shouted while rushing past the General's secretary.

"Colonel, have you forgotten ALL military protocol?" General Martin Peterson USAF replied, deliberately using the doctor's rank to put him in his place. "Doctor, if this is another one of your wild goose chases involving Major Nelson, so help me…"

Doctor Bellows chose his words very carefully, "Sir, I honestly think I have him now."

Peterson thought about it. It wouldn't really hurt him to entertain another one of Bellow's fantasies. Good doctors were hard to find. Besides, it must be the stress of the space program starting to get to Bellows. Up until about three years ago, Alfred Bellows was an exemplary officer. Bellows left his own command of an Air Force hospital to join the space program. Up until this nonsense with Nelson, Bellows was most likely on a path to become the Air Force Surgeon General. Peterson grabbed his cover and followed Dr. Bellows to Major Nelson's office.

"Jeannie!" Barked Major Nelson.

"Yes, Master," Jeannie immediately replied, popping into the room.

Tony softened a little, "The bath was a nice idea, but it has to go."

"Yes master, " Jeannie complied, clearly dejected. Tony and Roger were dripping in the office in their swimming trunks seconds later.

"Ummm… Jeannie… uniforms" Tony added.

Jeannie gave Tony Nelson a slightly wicked, slightly seductive look. But she did what her master asked. Almost immediately Tony and Roger were dry and in Uniform.

Just then General Peterson and Doctor Bellows entered.

"Good evening, sirs" Nelson and Healy almost said in unison while coming to attention.

"OK Doctor, what did you see?" Inquired Peterson.

Bellows looked puzzled, "They were in a Roman Bath…."

"Roman Bath, sir?" asked Nelson, who had his own devious side.

"Doctor Bellows, My office." Was all Peterson said in front of his subordinates.

Once behind closed doors, Peterson looked more resigned than angry. "Alfred," he said calmly, "you are a fine officer and one hell of a doctor. I think this place is really starting to get to you. I can't have my senior officers seeing Roman baths in offices."

Doctor Bellows started to defend himself, "Sir, I am a psychiatrist, and I know what I saw. I assure you, this is not stress related."

General Peterson started getting agitated, "Listen to yourself Colonel! If I do what regulations dictate I do, you would be shipped off to a mental ward! You know and I know that would end your career, which up until the last few months has been stellar!"

Doctor Bellows was humbled. He had known Martin Peterson for years, long before he was a general. "What does the general have in mind?" Bellows asked.

Peterson calmed down, "Nellis Air Force Base has a research facility out in the middle of the Nevada desert. I've been told that they are doing cutting edge stuff, and they have been asking for a research psychiatrist. Pack your bags doctor, you're heading to Vegas. I honestly wish you the best of luck."

The two men shook hands.

It didn't take long for the word to get out. Within a few days, everybody at NASA knew Doctor Bellows was gone, but nobody knew where. Roger, Tony, and Jeanne were having dinner at Tony's house a week later.

"I still can't believe Doctor Bellows is gone!" Roger said excitedly.

Jeannie moaned guiltily, "And it's all my fault!"

Tony consoled, "There, there, Jeannie, Dr. Bellows was way too high strung for NASA." Tony wasn't going to miss Dr. Bellows much either. He addressed his friend, "Roger, you said you heard some rumors about his replacement."

Roger replied smiling, "Yeah, he's Army like me. It's going to be nice seeing another green suit around. There aren't many of us Army folk around NASA, its mainly Air Force, Navy, and Marines. I heard the new doc's full bird colonel, like Bellows. He's been in the service close to 20 years now. He was a field surgeon in Korea who earned a purple heart no less, became a psychiatrist after the war, and has commanded several army hospitals—including a MASH unit in Vietnam. He's supposedly on the short list for brigadier general, not bad for somebody with less than 20."

Tony added, "Yeah, I heard he's very GI for a doctor, which can be good or bad. I think we will be meeting him tomorrow."

The next morning Major Nelson knocked on General Peterson's door. When he entered the office, he saw Roger Healey standing next to an Army Colonel who looked to be in his late 40's/ early 50's. Tony assumed this must be the new psychiatrist, as the colonel had insignia showing he was Army Medical Corps, as well as sporting several ribbons on his chest to boot.

General Peterson made the introduction, "Major Anthony Nelson, this is Colonel Frank Burns MD, U.S. Army. Colonel Burns will be our new research psychiatrist."


	2. Welcome Dr Burns

"Pleased to meet you Major," Colonel Burns said while shaking Tony Nelson's hand, "I'm familiar with your work. I was getting to know Major Healey here. Always nice to see another dogface," he added, smiling at Roger Healey.

For some reason Tony didn't think the old Army term 'dogface' didn't apply to the new Colonel. The term 'ferret face' popped in his brain and didn't know why. He immediately regretted the insulting thought. The Colonel seemed like a competent officer, and he had served his country in some very difficult situations.

General Peterson spoke, "Major Healey, I would like you to show Colonel Burns around the installation. Make sure he's suited up on the flight line at 1400. Major Nelson, I want you to take the Colonel up in a trainer for a familiarization flight."

"Yes sir," both majors replied.

Roger went about showing Colonel Burns around, while Tony went to his office to get some paperwork done before his afternoon flight. Tony gave an old friend of his in personnel a call.

Personnel officer Captain Kathleen Cook was surprised by Major Nelson's call. She had her eye on him, and flirted, but he seemed to show no interest.

"Hey Captain Cook, discover any new islands," Nelson joked with the officer who shared the name of the explorer.

"Whatever you wish, Lord Nelson," Cook replied without missing a beat. Two can play the name game.

Tony laughed, "Kathy, could you get me a copy of Colonel Burn's military bio?"

Cook wasn't too surprised. It's not unusual for officers to check up on new commanders. At least Nelson was only asking for the official biography, which is public record. She's had people ask for whole files, which of course are confidential.

"Depends, you free for lunch?" Kathy Cook asked Nelson with a playful tone.

Tony replied, "I have a flight at 1400, but if you meet me at the O-Club at 1200 with a copy of the bio, I'll buy you lunch.

"Deal," agreed Cook.

While Tony was making his lunch plans, the two Army officers Burns and Healey engaged in small talk.

"So, you and Major Nelson are buddies?" Asked Burns.

Roger was caught a little off guard by the question, but it seemed innocent enough. He replied, "Yeah, Tony and I actually went to West Point together. He chose to take a commission in the Air Force, while I stayed Army. Tony was the one who encouraged me to go into the space program. Thanks to him, I am accepted here… even though I am one of the few Army officers here."

Burns nodded, "Most officers detached to NASA are either Air Force or Naval Aviators. A lot of West Point grads in the Air Force, but that will change now that they have their own academy. I thought of going into the Army Air Corps, but the recruiter told me the service really needed doctors. World War II was over by the time I finished Medical School, so I decided to try a civilian dermatology practice."

Healey interjected, "But you did answer your country's call in Korea, sir. I understand you were a combat surgeon. If I may ask, how did you make the transition to psychiatry?"

Burns answered, "After my tour was over, I did some temporary duty at Walter Reed's Psychiatric Unit. Upon seeing what war did to the men's psyche, I found my new calling. It's great you have a good friend in the service. We have a tough job, and its better with a friend. I remember laughing at the carnage in Korea with my good buddies Hawkeye, Trapper, BJ, Spearchucker, and Duke. We lived in a tent called 'the Swamp' and brewed our own hooch in a still."

Healey laughed, "It sounds like you made the best of your situation."

While Colonel Burns was giving Roger Healey his version of what happened in Korea, Major Tony Nelson and Captain Kathleen Cook were having lunch at the base officer's club. The O-Club was a quiet alternative to the officer's mess, where the two could talk without being overheard.

"What'll it be, hon?" The waitress asked Tony, who was studying the menu.

"Hey, Paula, I'll have the yaaaaahhhh!" Tony exclaimed when he saw Paula the usual waitress had been replaced by a jealous Jeannie.

"Is everything OK, Major?" Kathy asked smirking.

"Oh, its just a cramp from training. I'll be fine, if you can excuse me for a moment," Tony Nelson replied while fake limping to the Men's room.

Tony looked around to make sure he was alone. "Jeannie," he barked.

Jeannie popped in the restroom, "Who is _she,"_ she asked venomously.

"_She _is the base personnel officer, and I'm getting some information on Dr. Bellows replacement. If you don't trust me, fine stick around, just be invisible. Remember though, it's because of you Dr. Bellows is gone." Nelson regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth. It was very harsh.

"Very will, Master, I will be in my bottle," Jeannie replied, obviously hurt.

Tony pleaded, "Jeannie, wait…" but she was already gone. Tony knew that his unthinking remark would cost him big.

The "real" Paula came and took Tony and Kathy's order. Cathy had a chicken dish and iced tea. Tony had a Ruben sandwich and a cola. Both had to return to work, and Tony had to fly. Alcohol was strictly off the menu.

Cook gave Tony the biography, and a little additional info not in the official publicity sheet. Nelson already knew a lot of the facts on Burns, but some of them were surprises. There were time gaps not explained. Burns got a Bachelors degree in 1938 and his MD in 1946. There was no explanation of why it took 8 years to get the medical degree instead of the usual four. The one thing that would explain it, military service, should definitely be mentioned here, but isn't. Going off the records, it would appear that it took him four extra years to get the MD. Burns completed a generalist internship in 1948, and thanks to the help of his in-laws set up a successful dermatology practice. Burns was drafted a Major in 1950 because of his wife's political connections. He didn't volunteer for the Army as he had eluded to. He served as a surgeon for the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. Burns left Korea in 1951 for reasons not explained in his personnel file, but his tour was not finished. His wife was no longer listed as a dependent after 1952, most likely because of a divorce. He made Lieutenant Colonel in 1954 after completing his psychiatry residency. He made full Colonel in 1963 after serving with an advisory group in Vietnam. For the past five years he has been moving around a lot, jumping from command to command, not staying in one place for more than a matter of months. His last command was back in Vietnam, another MASH unit, but for only six months. Colonel Frank Marion Burns was not who he appeared to be.

"This is great Kathy, thanks," Tony said, while mentally preparing for his flight. He was also thinking about how he was going to apologize to Jeannie.


	3. Viva Las Vegas

"Nevada!" Amanda Bellows was not happy. "I might just call up Marty Peterson and give him a piece of my mind. Really Alfred, Las Vegas in September!"

"Now Amanda," Alfred Bellows placated, "I don't need to tell you its part of the game. We've been transferred before, and we'll be transferred again."

"I know Alfred," Amanda replied more calmly, "I just assumed our next duty station would be D.C. Its just over the past few years…" Mrs. Bellows stopped in mid sentence. Alfred was a good man, and she wasn't about to question his career.

"This could be very exciting, Amanda," Alfred said, "Remember the last time we were in Las Vegas." Occasionally Dr. Bellows does say the right thing. The Las Vegas comment earned him a wicked smile from his bride.

"I don't know Alfred, why don't you remind me," Amanda replied sultrily.

There were no more arguments in the Bellows household that afternoon, or evening. Dr. Bellows had to fly out to Las Vegas early the next morning, and had to rush to pack. The orders were odd. He was to wear civilian clothes, and to fly a civilian airline into McCarren Airport, where he will be met. The civilian clothes weren't that unusual. It was 1968, after all. The 'summer of love' was in full force and an Air Force colonel could be an easy target for protesters. The cryptic aspect of the orders puzzled him. He was a full colonel with code-word clearance, after all.

Amanda drove Alfred to the helipad on the base, and they said their goodbyes as Dr. Bellows boarded a helicopter that took him to Miami, where a civilian plane would take him to McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. A round about way to get to Las Vegas, but at least he left town on a good note, he thought. As the ever-efficient Colonel's wife, Amanda will be getting the house ready for the movers that the Air Force will provide. Dr. Bellows brought a camera with him to take pictures of the military housing at Nellis Air Force Base they will occupy.

The flight from Miami to Las Vegas was a relaxing one, and Dr. Bellows was actually able to get some sleep. He realized he had spent almost 24 hours now without even thinking about Major Anthony Nelson.

Alfred was greeted at the gate by a skycap with an electric cart with sign that said "Dr. Bellows".

"I'm Alfred Bellows," the doctor identified himself to the skycap.

The skycap invited, "Hop on sir, we'll get your baggage and take you to the other terminal."

Now Doctor Bellows was very confused. Other terminal? He thought he was just going up to Nellis, which was only a few miles north of town. But several years of experience on top secret projects taught him not to ask too many questions. They rode down to baggage claim and threw the suitcase on the cart. The driver of the cart then headed out on the tarmac.

"Sir, please put this on." The driver said, handing Dr. Bellows a photo ID already prepared for him.

They came to a private terminal with fairly heavy uniformed security. The uniforms had no identifying markings or badges on them though. After checking his camera at the terminal, Dr. Bellows was ushered onto an aircraft with a group of people with similar badges as his. The group was talking about last night's game, TV shows, movies, just as if they were commuters taking a trip they have taken the trip hundreds of times. Nobody talked to Dr. Bellows, and acted as if the stranger in their midst was nothing new.

Forty-five minutes later, they landed on a strip out in the middle of nowhere. The others started deplaning and headed to another building. At the foot of the stairs, a blond man in his early thirties stopped Dr. Bellows.

"Colonel, if you would come with me," the stranger said, "I'm Colonel Jones, head of R&D, welcome to Area 51."

"Thank you, Colonel," Dr. Bellows said, "I must admit, this is all so unusual."

"You'll see why in a few minutes," the young Colonel Jones replied. The two men climbed in a nearby jeep, where the driver took them to a large hanger.

Security around the hanger was extremely tight, the men were very will armed. They did not look like they would hesitate to shoot. Both men were allowed to enter after their identifications were carefully authenticated, and Jones entered a combination in the door. Inside the hanger were more senior enlisted men with automatic weapons. But the guards were not of Doctor Bellows interest anymore. He was looking at an aircraft the likes of he has never seen before.

"What in the world is that? Captain Kirk's back-up ship?" Dr. Bellows asked.

Colonel Jones laughed, "Its an SR-71 Blackbird, the latest generation of reconnaissance aircraft. You'll be directing human factors engineering on this project and others I can't show you just now"

Dr. Bellows smiled. He should have known General Peterson wouldn't let him down. This was definitely a choice assignment for any Air Force officer. When Dr. Bellows got word who was replacing him, it caused him a moment of tension. Then Alfred smiled, realizing it wasn't his problem. If NASA wanted Dr. Frank Burns, a brown-nosed poor excuse for a doctor whose psychiatric credentials come from being a patient in a mental ward, they could have him.

Later that afternoon Bellows took one of the flights that he later learned were called "Janet" flights back to McCarren. He was escorted to a bus that said "Nellis." The other workers went to busses that presumably went to parking areas. The bus took him to a restricted parking area of Nellis Air Force Base north of Las Vegas.

When he got off the bus, an attractive female sergeant was waiting for him with a jeep. "Colonel Bellows?" She asked, holding what appeared to be his service photo.

"Yes, Sergeant?" Dr. Bellows replied.

"I'm Sgt. Fair of special services. I've been instructed to show you available base housing, and take you to the BOQ." She explained.

The house was one of the better ones in the base housing complex, actually better than most you would find in military housing. Amanda should be pleased.

Sergeant Fair smiled as Dr. Bellows started taking pictures of the house, and asked, "For Mrs. Bellows, sir?"

"You better believe it, sergeant, my wife would skin me alive if I didn't get her the color scheme. It is a nice house." Dr. Bellows replied.

"I'm glad you like it sir," Fair responded, "I hope you also enjoy your short stay in our Bachelor Officer's Quarters."

"I'm sure I will," Bellows offered.

The BOQ actually was very nice, being on the scale of an economy hotel. Usually such facilities are for very young officers, or officers on temporary duty. As a Colonel, Dr. Bellows was entitled to a suite. Bellows thought he just might like Nevada.


	4. Choppers! Choppers!

Colonel Burns made a comment to Major Healey about an attractive civil servant they passed in the hall. Roger saw it as an excuse to talk about his favorite subject, women.

Roger reminisced, "Shortly after I graduated West Point, I actually had a date with the head nurse at the academy. Here I was a butter bar LT celebrating earning my commission, and she was celebrating her promotion Lt. Colonel and we both had a bit too much to drink. She actually made me salute her and call her ma'am. She was a divorcee about 10 years or so older than me and taught me a lot. As a matter of fact, I think she also did time in Korea. Last I heard, she was still in the Army, a full colonel by now."

Colonel Burns stretched his lips so thin they could barely be seen, "What her name?"

"Margret Houlihan…." Roger trailed off, not noticing all the color draining from Frank Burn's face.

Burns tightly said, "I think Major Nelson is waiting for us."

It was 1330, and Tony Nelson was impatiently waiting in the briefing room for Roger and Colonel Burns. Finally Roger and Dr. Burns came in. Roger looked fine, but Burns looked like he was going to be sick. Tony mistakenly thought it was nerves about flying, and carefully briefed the senior army officer on what to do during the demonstration flight, and the safety features of the aircraft. Major Nelson has done this before countless times for many dignitaries. The flight went well, but Colonel Burns seemed cool and detached.

Later Tony asked Roger what went wrong.

"I don't know Tony," Roger explained, "we started talking about women, then he just got all quiet, and barely said two words to me."

Tony said, "I think his wife left him while he was in Korea, and he never remarried."

Roger said, "Wow, that's rough. No wonder he got all quiet."

Tony then thought about Jeannie, and got her some flowers. When he got home he apologized a great deal, did a little groveling, and finally Jeannie forgave him.

The next morning Tony and Roger stopped by the Bellow's house to help Amanda pack for the movers, who would be showing up the next day. Amanda already had several junior officers and their wives assisting. A colonel's wife should also be a rank, Tony thought.

Amanda was telling anyone who was listening, "Alfred is very excited about his new job, but won't give me any details. I think he's gotten a little too comfortable in the BOQ he's been staying in the past couple of weeks. I just got the photos of the house we will be moving to."

Tony smiled while looking at the photographs. He was glad Dr. Bellows got a good assignment. He had his differences with the psychiatrist, but didn't want to ruin his career.

Later that night Roger was having dinner with Tony and Jeannie, as usual. They were talking about their new psychiatrist.

Tony said, "I bet whatever happened to him happened in Korea."

Roger agreed, "Yeah, that seems to be the key."

Jeannie hearing this had an idea. Jeannie blinked.

Next thing Tony Nelson knew was flying a Hiller helicopter over what looked like a Korea-era MASH unit. He was wearing the uniform of an army major. At least Jeannie let him keep his rank. There were wounded men on the skids, and he was a little rusty flying the chopper, being used to jets, but at least he was keeping it in the air.

He heard a familiar voice over the radio, "Tony, is that you on my six?"

Tony replied, "Roger, Roger, good to hear your voice." Tony was relieved, Major Roger Healey being an army pilot had hundreds of chopper hours.

"Just follow me in, buddy," Roger instructed as they flew to the landing pad. Tony spotted a sign that read 'MASH 4077, best care anywhere.'

When they landed, medical crews came running to the litters on the choppers. A lieutenant colonel came up to Tony and said, "This looks like it, you guys can hit the showers and the O-Club if you're not flying anymore today."

"Thank you sir," Major Nelson replied. Tony found a bag with toiletries and a change of clothing in the chopper. He and Roger took a shower, and headed to the Officers Club.

Tony noticed that both he and Roger had uniforms with their actual rank and name. Tony's of course said "Army" instead of "Air Force." Tony wasn't too surprised to see Jeannie at the O club. She was dressed as a Korean woman, and no doubt he and Roger were the only ones who saw her as anything but a young Korean waitress. Because of the military aspect, Major Nelson didn't feel totally out of his element, so he decided to play along.

"What can I get you flyboys?" Jeannie asked Nelson and Healey.

Roger ordered, "A couple of beers sound good, where are we?" Healy was also used to unexpectedly showing up in strange places.

Tony answered, "Let me see if I can guess. Korea, in Frank Burns' unit."

Jeannie smiled saying, "My master is so smart. Now you can find out what you need to."

Tony said, "I guess so, at least you didn't make us surgeons… then we'd all be in trouble." Both men laughed, Jeannie looked confused. Her master could do anything, but they seemed happier if they could fly in their machines.


	5. Best Care Anywhere

Tony and Roger were eating some kimche and drinking beer. The traditional Korean pickled cabbage dish smelled nasty, but went along great with the somewhat warm bottled beer. Korea brought back memories to both men, as they had both done tours there as enlisted men before being selected to attend the academy. Jeanne/waitress was keeping an eye on them. Knowing there were new officers in camp, Major Frank Burns and Major Margaret Houlihan were the first to seek out the new pilots. When Houlihan came up to the two, Tony couldn't help but feel he had met her before. Roger started looking very uncomfortable.

"Hello, I'm Major Margaret Houlihan, and this is Major Frank Burns, "Margret said to Tony and Roger.

Tony was the first to take her hand, "Tony Nelson, this is Roger Healey."

Handshakes went all around showing courtesy of rank "Major, Major, Major, Major"

About then two men not wearing any uniforms came in shaking everybody's hand (including Jeannie's) chanting "Major, Major." That earned a laugh from Jeannie. Tony adored her laugh.

"Ignore them, they are very juvenile draftee doctors." Houlihan told the two pilots. Nelson was beginning to wonder if Burns had the power of speech.

Houlihan purred to Nelson, "I notice you're wearing an academy ring." Tony thought he saw Frank turning purple.

Tony automatically said "Class of '57" which, of course gained him a puzzled look. He quickly realized his gaffe and laughed while glancing at the ring, "I wish, you see I'm civil war buff. I actually graduated West Point in 1941. Roger was in my class."

"That was a good year for officers," Frank quipped, earning him puzzled looks all around.

Finally he had a chance to ask Roger, "What is with you?"

Roger simply whispered, "Hot Lips."

Houlihan turned around thinking she heard something. Then it hit him. This was the same Margaret Houlihan that was head nurse at West Point while he was there. Then something else hit him fast.

Tony looked at Roger sternly and asked, "You didn't?" Which just got him a 'what can you do' look from Roger. Tony chuckled. The Lt. Colonel Tony saw earlier came in. He was wearing a fishing hat. He sat down next to Tony and Roger. Burns and Houlihan were hovering close by.

"Henry Blake," he said by way of introduction, "I haven't seen you two around, what brings you two to our neck of the woods?"

Roger made the save this time, " Roger Healey and Tony Nelson. We were doing training flights, and they needed us to deliver wounded. I'm an instructor pilot, while Major Nelson here is making the transition from LTA's to choppers."

"LTA's?" the befuddled reserve colonel asked.

From the table behind them one of the draftee doctors shouted, "Lighter Than Air, Henry, like Frank's head. Blimps."

Nelson and Healey looked over at the eavesdroppers. The louder of the two stepped up, "I'm Hawkeye, he's Trapper. Welcome to the 4077 gentlemen, best care anywhere. If you get tired of that warm beer, stop by the swamp later."

Roger remembered Frank mentioning the swamp and homebrew. After the O Club shut down, the party did indeed move to the swamp. There were several doctors, nurses, enlisted men and a Jeannie in a nurses uniform.

Tony asked, "Where's Burns?"

Trapper replied, "Probably playing doctor with hot lips. We don't let him play doctor in our OR."

Roger exclaimed, "Frank is banging Hot Lips!" which got a laugh from everybody.

"Our Major Houlihan does get around doesn't she? Don't worry Major Healey, you're not the first to have trouble getting your brain around Margret and Frank," Hawkeye answered.

A rather hairy young man in a dress stated, "what gets me is how Burns acts all holier than thou, and he's cheating on his wife. I've seen the hypocrite try to give Bible lessons to Father Mulcahy!"

Tony and Roger started to realize that Frank Burns definitely exaggerated a lot when talking about Korea. In a matter of few hours they ascertained that Burns was pretty much the most hated man in camp. Suddenly, Tony felt someone brush his side, and he smelled the faint scent of perfume mixed with gin. He looked down into the drunken eyes of a very attractive Nurse.

"Hi, you're cute," the Nurse slurred, "I'm Nurse Able, as in ready, willing, and…"

Before Nurse Able could finish her proposition, Roger, Tony, and Jeannie, were back in Cocoa Beach. Tony swore smoke was coming out of Jeannie's ears.

Tony explained, "Jeannie, I didn't do anything…she came on to me."

Tony Nelson was in the doghouse again. Hopefully, this time not literally. But he learned a lot about the new NASA psychiatrist, and why he had so many different transfers. People had been promoting Frank Burns to get rid of him. Now NASA is stuck with him. The Army's little present to the Air Force. Thanks a lot, guys. Next time just send flowers. Now he has to come up with a way to get Frank Burns transferred.


	6. Welcome to Dreamland

Colonel Alfred Bellows was sleeping comfortably next to his wife when the phone rang. Being a physician, as well as an Air Force officer, the phone ringing in the middle of the night was nothing unusual.

"This is Colonel Bellows," the good doctor groggily answered.

The voice on the other end instructed, "Colonel Bellows, this is Colonel Jones, be outside your house in 30 minutes in BDU's"

Amanda woke to see her husband putting on his olive drab fatigue uniform.

"Don't tell me your going to war." She half joked. This new job her husband had was strange, but she began to like Nevada. She could hang out with other wives and enjoy the wide variety of entertainment Las Vegas had to offer. Plus, now that he was away from NASA, Alfred was a lot more relaxed. Also, in the marriage department he was much more attentive, which definitely made her happy. She liked this new Alfred.

Dr. Bellows smiled, "They need me at work, don't worry, I'll be home soon."

"At 2:30 in the morning?" Amanda asked, not expecting an answer.

Jones came by in a dark sedan, and they went towards the flight line at Nellis. This was different, usually Bellows went to the test area known as "Area 51" in a civilian plane from McCarren Airport. Plus, this time he was wearing fatigues… he normally wore his civilian clothes to work. The car drove up to a black, unmarked, Bell UH-1 "Huey." Jones and Bellows entered the helicopter. Bellows noted that while wearing military flight suits, the crew had no rank or identifying markings on them.

When they touched down at Area 51, Bellows and Jones got into a jeep. The driver took them to an old run down hangar. Bellows followed Jones to an elevator at the end. The elevator propelled them quickly below the Earth's surface. When the doors opened, Dr. Bellows noticed they were in a huge underground hangar. At the end of this hanger was a huge saucer shaped craft. Jones was surprised at how non-plused Bellows was by the sight. It was as if Dr. Bellows saw unusual sights regularly.

A very young scientist who kind of looked like a mannequin approached them and introduced himself, "I am Dr. Brackish Okun, welcome to Dreamland."

Dr. Bellows simply asked, "Major Nelson has something to do with this, doesn't he?"

Dr. Okun answered, "The astronaut, no Major Nelson doesn't have clearance."

Colonel Jones stepped in, "Dr. Bellows is working on human factors on our test craft, I thought he might be interested in also working on non-human factors."

Dr. Bellows regained composure and added, "This reminds me of a test craft we had at NASA. Majors Nelson and Healy ended up crashing it and some farmers mistook them for Martians." Dr. Bellows smiled at the recollection.

Colonel Jones clarified with, "That craft was manufactured here, using principals from this ship, which crashed at Roswell Army Air Field in 1947."

Finally the enormity of what he was looking at hit Dr. Bellows, "The stories were true? You have managed to hide an extra terrestrial space ship for over 20 years?"

Dr. Okun smiled, "Sometimes the preposterous can be true, Doctor."

Dr. Okun then took Doctor Bellows on the most incredible tour of his life. Dr. Okun was pretty incredible also, earned his doctorate while he was still too young to vote. Okun, like Bellows, decided upon a life of public service. While there was considerable difference in the age of the two, they became fast friends.

Amanda wasn't too pleased when Alfred explained he was now working nights, leaving for work as soon as it got dark, and returning shortly before dawn. At first she thought he getting too old to be keeping vampire's hours, but he seemed to enjoy his work (which, of course, he never told her about). The added benefit was that whatever he was doing did put a lot of spring in his step. Sometimes, they spent hours in bed together before he went to sleep in the afternoon and she went off to Vegas "with the girls". The other wives often wondered about the smile Amanda Bellows had on her face when she greeted them on their way out to "do the town."


	7. All The President's Men

A figure mysteriously appeared out of nowhere while Tony and Roger were discussing Frank Burns in Tony's office.

Tony started with… "Jeannie, how many times have I told you not to keep popping in, you're going to give us a…."

Tony stopped cold. It wasn't Jeannie. It was a rather intimidating man in his 50s.

"Jeannie, who is Jeannie" he immediately started interrogating, "and what is your relationship with Major Burns?"

Tony got defensive, "Who are you?"

"Not that its important, but my name is Flagg, Colonel, Criminal Investigations Division, U.S. Army Retired, and special security consultant to former Vice President and Republican Presidential Nominee Richard Milhous Nixon."

Roger extended his hand and started "Hi, I'm…."

Before he could finish Flagg continued "Roger Healey, Major, Corps of Engineers, U.S. Army, currently attached to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, and he's Colonel Anthony Nelson, U.S. Air Force, also attached to NASA."

Tony didn't like this guy. He said, "You got one thing wrong. You referred to Frank Burns as Major Burns, he's actually…"

Flagg corrected himself, "Colonel Frank Marion Burns, MD, Medical Corps, U.S.Army, currently attached to NASA. Burns and I go way back, I knew him as Major Burns for years."

Exasperated, Tony finally asked, "What can I do for you Colonel Flagg?"

Flagg answered, "You will get your orders soon. Mr. Nixon wants to fly in a jet with the world famous astronaut Tony Nelson."

Tony sighed. Sometimes he felt like a taxicab for visiting VIPs. He simply replied, "Thanks for the heads-up Colonel." As an afterthought he added, "Colonel Burns' office is down the hall." And with that, Flagg vanished.

"Man I hate spooks," Roger said for both of them. Tony's brain was already on a way to get rid of Frank Burns.

"Roger," he asked his old friend, "How did all those other outfits get rid of Burns?" asked Nelson.

"Easy," answered Healey, "The Peter Principle. They kept promoting him to his highest level of incompetence."

"Right," agreed Tony, "now, we got a VIP coming who has a damned good chance of becoming President. A member on his staff is an old army buddy of Burns. Are you following me?"

A light went on in Roger's head, "We make Burns look as good as we can to the former VP, and he's bound to get promoted."

"Exactly," agreed Tony, "but the Burns can easily screw up the plan by acting like himself in front of Nixon."

Roger suggested, "We could get some help," while crossing his arms and blinking his eyes.

"Absolutely not, Roger, you know how Jeannies magic backfires!" Tony exclaimed.

Within the hour, the two were summoned to General Peterson's office and were told to expect a very special VIP tomorrow morning.

Roger stopped by Tony's place later that night. Tony checked around for Jeannie, and she appeared to be napping in her bottle.

He said quietly, "Remember, we don't need her help." Gesturing at the bottle. The two officers went out for dinner.

Later that night, Roger was sound asleep. He was alone in his bed, as he actually needed some sleep. If he wanted company, he could have easily gotten it, as there were plenty of astronaut groupies in Cocoa Beach. He awoke hearing his name called by a familiar female voice.

"Major Healey wake up!" Jeannie called.

"Am I dreaming?" Roger asked, as he has had more than one dream that starts like this.

Jeannie looked crossly at Roger, "I sensed my Master needs my help, and you will tell me how."

Roger thought about not telling, but has experienced what Jeannie can do when she is upset. Not an experience he wanted to repeat, so he told her of the plan to make Burns look good to former Vice President Nixon.

The next day, Nelson met with General Peterson and Richard Nixon. Flagg was close by, and so was Dr. Burns. After introductions were made, Tony took his first opportunity.

In front of Nixon, Tony proclaimed, "Colonel Burns, I'm glad you're here. Since you've started here I'm in the best health of my life."

Something about Burns looked different. Frank replied, "think nothing of it Major, I'm here to help in any way I can."

Perfect answer, Tony thought. Of course it didn't hurt that Jeannie gave Frank Burns a healthy dose of self-confidence with a blink of her eyes.

Flagg added for the benefit of Peterson and Nixon, "I've known Frank Burns since we were in the trenches of Korea. He's my kind of people."

Richard Nixon added, "Colonel Flagg, any person that is your kind of people is definitely my kind of people." Tony thought _score_!

Nixon went on to tour the space center and Tony actually enjoyed the flight he had with the former VP. He was nothing like he heard about in the press. He was telling Roger and Jeannie about what a great day he had with the Presidential Nominee. Roger and Jeannie started looking worried.

"What did you do, Jeannie?" Tony asked.

"I just wanted to give him some confidence," Jeannie started.

Roger came to Jeannie's defense, "She really helped us out Tony, you said it yourself, Frank Burns is his own worse enemy."

Later that evening the three of them were watching the evening news. Some political correspondent was going on about how they were seeing a new, more articulate, Richard Nixon. Tony had a bad feeling.

"Jeannie," Tony asked, "was Nixon anywhere near Burns when you blinked?"

Jeannie's look gave Tony his answer, but she said, "the spell will wear off in a few hours."

Richard Nixon, of course, won the election by a wide margin.

General Peterson called Frank Burns into his office. "Colonel Burns," the General started, "I've got a letter from Colonel Flagg of President-Elect's transition team requesting you be reassigned to the Presidential Transition Team in Washington. Congratulations."

"Thank you, General," Frank Burns replied. "I guess I better get packing."

Soon Tony and Roger got word that Frank Burns was going off to be Dick Nixon's new shrink. They had more than one drink in celebration after work on that.

The next day, they were in General Peterson's office. Dr. Burns replacement was already there. He was a very familiar face.

"Dr. Bellows!" Both Healey and Nelson exclaimed.

"Believe or not, sir," Tony added, "we are glad to see you."

"Thank you for the welcome, gentlemen, and I will be seeing you around." Doctor Bellows said while heading off to his office.

From the Personal Journal of Colonel Alfred Bellows, MD,MC,USAF 

_As my new friend Dr. Okun said, "Sometimes the preposterous can be true." I believe Major Anthony Nelson, USAF had something to do with Colonel Burns transfer, if not the presidential election itself. I am starting to believe my own eyes now. From what I have observed, Major Nelson is in control of some supernatural force. I do not know if this power is terrestrial or extraterrestrial, but I do feel the unusual events that surround Major Nelson deserve further investigation. I personally will start this investigation by preparing a complete dossier on Major Nelson. Copies of the dossier will be made for NASA Commanding General Martin Peterson, USAF; Oscar Goldman of the Air Force Office of Special Investigations; and Major Jake Gatlin, USAF, of Project Blue Book._


End file.
